A recent conversation got me thinking about this tongue-in-cheek post that I wrote a few years back. It’s still a good one! Take it in the spirit of humor, please!
From: The Jerusalem Temple
100 East Gate
Greetings in the name of our Messiah (whom we haven’t actually seen yet, but we take it by faith that He’s coming). On behalf of the missions committee here at the Jerusalem Temple it’s my honor to greet you – we only wish it were with a holy kiss.
Isaiah, it’s that time of year when we re-evaluate our priorities regarding the distribution of funds to various temple-supported prophets. As you know, our temple has a substantial commitment to the preaching of the Law. We have developed a five point system of evaluation that includes the following: teaching the Pentateuch, apostasy return, royalty succession, Baal shaming, and war counseling.
We noticed on your recent evaluation form you indicated that the primary purpose of your ministry was “voice crying in the wilderness.” You need to know that this is not one of the priorities that we have set for the prophets that we support. While “crying in the wilderness” is certainly an important ministry, it is simply not one which we feel called to give toward.
We also have some questions about this particular assignment for you. We noticed that you have been “crying in the wilderness” for sometime now, but there is little sign of fruit. This makes us wonder if this particular ministry is a match for your particular gifting. Furthermore, some of our member are concerned that your recent newsletter reported that you are, at times, running around bare-naked. Unfortunately, we suspect that your sending agency, Propheteers, is not adequately holding you accountable to a reasonable ministry plan.
We did write them and they have indicated that they are unable to remove you from ministry, because that is the role of field leadership. This is unacceptable to us, and we have, therefore decided to suspend our support for your ministry.
We will continue to send you fatty parts from the sacrifices for another three months, at which time our support will end.
The Missions Committee
The Jerusalem Temple